a snippet of my 1st clinical postings

assalamualaikum..

writing this post just to tell you readers on my first clinical postings which has ended on last monday (paediatrics postings). it has been a month or so of experiences, lessons, and memories as well.

the first part of my postings began at Udupi. to be exact, at Dr. T.M.A Pai Hospital Udupi. this hospital is the place or should I say an insight to what lies ahead of me in order to become a doctor. first things first, paediatrics is a branch of medicine *for those of you who didn't understand the jargons used by a medic student* which involves the care of basically, childrens. :) right from the 1st day of delivery, when they all first see the world, until they are known as adults. I spent most of my postings here, for about 3 weeks before continuing the 2nd part at Karkala which i will talk about later.

of course the transition from theory based, class-oriented learning to a more practical, hands-on style of learning is quite tough. to be honest, I am intimidated about this approach of learning at first. you have all those necessary knowledge which you have built for the last 2 years, but to apply this knowledge, is a completely different thing. not to mention that you have to rely on yourself for most of the time. of course as expected, the first week of my postings didn't really go well. my first attempt on history taking is horrendous, or horrible if it were to be described. all the information, the complaints, the history got really messed up and scattered all over the paper. -.- and may I remind you this is india I'm talking about, so the initial weeks are very tough especially due to the language barrier. yes, there are some patients or parents that can speak english if not fluently, but they can understand english but mostly you have to speak in the local language (locals speak Kannada) in order to extract information, history and details in order to complete a case or compile a history.

talking to the patients is also quite scary. scary by means that you really don't know what to say, what to ask, or what to do with them. of course I have experienced some voluntary work at hospital back during the a-level days but then it is nothing compared to clinical postings. the hands on experience of getting to talk to that patients, trying to extract infos and to come to a differential diagnosis for each complaints can be intimidating at times. luckily I have wonderful friends in my group that share the same experience along with me.

with dr madhava

yes i know this group is kinda biased. haha. all malays (ok i admit i am melanau :p) except for vairam. why? because all of the guy's names begins with 'mohamad' and mostly 'nur' for girls. so there you go, a tailor made group for a fun postings here in manipal. hehe. patients have taught us a lot, in the sense of being friendly, and at the same time being professional as a doctor to be. and the doctors here are very awesome as well. kind but strict at the same time. we've got ourselves into trouble a few times already, and that is never an exciting thing to go through but sometimes a slap in the face is what we all need as well. (e.g : dr. kunal, dr. asha) 

speaking of scolding from the doctors, I was the victim of a (insert a description) doctor during my first day at O&G postings. i was sitting at the bench at the hospital's corridor at that time, waiting for our turn to enter the ultrasound scan room because the girls went in first, so we waited outside. and to avoid awkwardness or basically it is everything that everyone do when they are at a public place, you take your phone out. and out of nowhere this old man (around 50s) tapped my shoulder and suddenly started scolding me and all. -.- talking about this and that, about how a doctor shouldn't do this and that, about how hard it is to pass medical school and blablabla. of course i felt quite battered deep down inside but probably he didn't know that its our 1st day at the O&G department, and he is not our doctor, most likely just another people who went to the hospital as a patient or with the relatives. 

to be scolded is fine with me, because some people believe that the method is effective for stamping your authority, or cementing your argument. but honestly if i were to speak, i don't agree with that. raising your voice, getting angry at someone is never a good idea. when you get angry, you started a fire inside you. and 'syaitan' nature is fire, he will get into you and most likely will wind you up into things that you're not supposed to say or do. even if you don't agree with something, you should talk about it in the way that you are able to express your point, but not in a way that it will be seen as negative. but getting scolded once in a while is a good thing to have as well. things don't go smoothly all the time, so a bit of rough patches here and there would be ok with me. 

and i cruel reminder to myself, even though this is the 3rd year of MBBS, which seniors say the most enjoyable part of the MBBS course (not really sure if MBBS is enjoyable at all :p), i still have to open the books, and read them, and also make sure that all my basics which I built for the past 2 years, all those subjects (anatomy, biochemistry, physiology, pathology, pharmacology, microbiology, forensic medicine) must be strong and solid. trust me, in a group of 12 people, you don't want to look stupid by not being attentive or not able to answer questions from the doctors. it would be that obvious that you are not studying or simply an idiot. -.- and yes, i do enjoy clinical postings, even it is tiring, but all the experiences seeing patients, procedures, operations etc is totally invaluable compared to reading those stuffs from the books only. here are some more pictures from our postings. *credit for aidurra and vairam for the pictures from their FB albums*

boys D1 group

boys again

last day at karkala with dr. vinayaka and dr. asha

with dr. neha at paediatrics ward karkala

redza seeing a shocker?

le hospital in karkala

candida shot

good guys, bad guys

assalamualaikum..

this post is something i have been thinking of since a few weeks back, probably about something sensitive and some may not agree with me, and some may agree, but this is just my opinion and nothing to do with anyone around me. it is quite long, and if you find this is boring you, i'm fine with that. :) this post is mainly about 'hijrah', by that i mean hijrah from bad to good. people always look for guidance whether they realise it or not, because that's just a basic instinct of a human being. they need guidance, someone to show them the right way and path. in this case, the guidance is 'hidayah' from Allah S.W.T. and this hidayah may come in various ways, situation, and we never knew when or how this hidayah will come to us.

and that brings me to a thought. let me share you a tweet that i read on twitter a few weeks back which sparks the idea on this post.

so first i'll take the former tweet as a discussion. i'm a person of two halves. what i mean here is i've been in both positions. before this i admit, i'm not a good person, especially when it comes to Islam, been reckless and careless about my responsibility as a Muslim. and now i believe i'm a better person than who i am before, but still not enough to be warranted as a good Muslim. and by attending these 'majlis ilmu' i have learnt a lot from people who have a lot of 'ilmu' on Islam itself. and why those tweets above? because i've been in those two opposites of good and bad people, i see something which some may not see. what i mean here is i'm seeing this matter in two ways. from the eyes of the bad person, and from the eyes of a slightly better person should i say. everyone wants to become a better person than who they were before, no doubt about that. never i heard a person likes being a bad person nor accepts him/her as the way they are (being a bad person). so these changes, or 'hijrah' is completely normal, a nature of a human being which always seeks for guidance.

but what i'm trying to concentrate in this post is, sometimes when people shift from bad to good, that transition period sometimes has it's own complication. which is mentioned in the tweets above. what i see from my school, college and university days is something that worries me. i understand that no one likes bad people. but then in Islam, no matter how bad or worse a person is, he/she deserves a right. a right to be preached, or in a proper way, Da'wah. a person with even a piece a knowledge must share that knowledge to another person who haven't heard of it. and what i see around me sadly, there's an opening gap between those two opposites. the 'good' guys see the 'bad' guys as 'jahil', doesn't look like they are looking for help, and not intending to develop into a better person. while on the other hand, the 'bad' guys sees the 'good' guys as intimidating, secluded to their own group, doesn't mix with other people and unapproachable. socially those two opposites will never mix. presumably because each has their own views on other people.

and when this happens, the 'good' guys will only mix among themselves, and the 'bad' guys will stay on their current state, probably will not become the 'good' guys. this is merely due to a misunderstanding. i've been on the bad side, and its not like we intentionally like being bad. its just we didn't knew that we were. we have no problems in making friends or mixing with others. and being on the 'good' side, only as a slightly better person that who i am before mind you, i saw something wrong. its not that the 'good' guys hate those 'bad' guys. because they have developed into a better person, somehow that sense of feeling that they have 'understood' the religion creeps under. the 'good' guys feel like they knew something, and they see the 'bad' guys as some hopeless people, or shall i say hopeless, because they didn't 'understand' what the 'good' guys fought for. this is a big problem, which is making ASSUMPTIONS out of your PERCEPTIONS. you can never be right all the time, and when you get it wrong, usually things will go bad. and these gaps will only become even bigger by time.

for example, yes it is true that the 'bad' guys may refuse to go to a 'majlis ilmu', say an 'usrah'. but i as a person who was in their shoes before, it is because i didn't understand the purpose, the goal of being in an 'usrah'. and those 'good' guys who have some knowledge, some information, must tell those 'bad' guys of what really an 'usrah' or 'majlis ilmu' is. that is the real purpose of those kind of groups. to bring people to the good, not by selecting a few who you think have the potential to become good because everyone have that potential. and everyone have the right to be told what is right and what is wrong. the biggest problem here is the APPROACH. just as i posted in my last post, you must 'seek to understand, to be understood' by the 'bad' guys. you shouldn't go harsh on these people, cause they may rebel or fight back. but you should not ignore them completely. as a Muslim we must spread our knowledge to other people.

i've went out with few jama'ah (tabligh) before, for like 3, 40 days. and also sat together with 'usrah' groups. there's nothing wrong with those two, in fact its a good thing to have or to be in. only that the method, the approach sometimes disappoints you. when i was out with the tabligh jama'ah, on a 'ghast' (ghast is when jama'ah goes from home to home, usually after Asar to invite people to go to masjid for bayan or ta'alims by the jama'ah). and it is almost Maghrib when i along with the jama'ah walked passed by a football field. as usual, there a few 'newbies' in the jama'ah, and in those guys i see something wrong, similar to 'newbies' in usrahs which i will talk about it later. so those 'newbies' went to the field, and invited the boys and guys who are still playing at the field to come along with us for Maghrib prayer. mind you that they all are sweaty and dirty from playing football just now, but these guys insist to take them along as well. to me, at least allow them to go back home, clean themselves up, shower, and then come to the masjid. not taking them along with all those smelly odour and dirty clothes to the holy place, home of Allah which is the masjid. and you might say what if they go home and never show up at the masjid? that's when your HUSNUZON comes in. you talk about 'husnuzon' all the time, and try maybe once to apply it in a real life situation. maybe they're not coming for Maghrib because they are still showering, or they perform jama'ah prayer back at home. or even better they are also taking along their other family or friends. and even when they didn't show up at all, don't give up. SABAR. even our beloved Rasulullah have been tested even worse than us. and who we are to say those people have no hope, bad or whatever? husnuzon is one of the 5 characters of Sahabat which makes them glorious in Dunia & Akhirat.

and for the 'usrah' groups, just because those 'bad' guys doesn't seem interested in your group, do not befriend them. yes i do agree, the factor which causes Bani Israil to fall down is because they try to bring people to good, and when they failed they kept mixing with those people. there's an Ayat in the Quran about that matter. but in this case, it is a completely different issue. its not that you've failed. its the approach that fails you. be friends to those 'bad' guys. make yourself approachable, understandable. even if you come up with explanation of 'dosa' or 'pahala' or even the 'Akhirat' to them, they may not understand, which repels them away from you. instead, go easy on them. be nice. insyaAllah somehow Allah with His mercy, will give those bad people 'hidayah'. whether they change or not, it is none of our business. 'hidayah' comes from Allah, given to whoever Allah feels like deserves it. our responsibility is to do our very best, take those 'bad' guys and teach them whatever we know. never ever give up, or assume that they are hopeless. never differentiate or discriminate them just because you feel like you understand or know something that they do not know. you might just put yourself into the trap of 'takabbur'. Rasulullah himself spent 13 years on building the basics of Iman on the Sahabats. and you dare to say those 'bad' guys are hopeless, 'mundur' while you yourself have never said or even talked to them? take a look back in the mirror, reflect yourself. you attend 'majlis ilmu', but then deep inside you, a deep hatred to a certain group of people builds up inside. that is exactly the opposite of what a 'majlis ilmu' was meant for. be nice, change our approach, and be more understandable, and insyaAllah everyone will be blessed.

sorry if any of the things mentioned above sounds harsh, but i believe i've made my point, based on my views as a 'bad' person i was before, and my view as a slightly better person now. comments are openly accepted. assalamualaikum. :)

3rd Year MBBS

assalamualaikum..

its been a while since i've updated this blog *yes i know i've started my previous posts with this kind of intro -.- *. sorry for the long period of dormancy but it is all due to the pressure of the 2nd year MBBS final exam. which explains the title 3rd year MBBS for this post. alhamdulillah i've made it to the 3rd year of the course, hence completing the pre-clinical stage. and this time it felt much better than the 1st year finals since i've passed without having to go for any borderline viva to pass.

3rd Year!

so i'm already moving on to 2nd week for the 3rd year and my first postings is paediatrics posting *kids weehoo! :p *. luckily my postings group are handpicked to suit me and the rest of us, so there's no issue of awkwardness in the group since we already knew each other well enough. and we've been to the hospital twice already and yes, it is kinda intimidating, if i have to admit. but then those are the challenges i will need to face in order to progress and develop in order top become a decent and good doctor later. so far it is going well for us, and the only concern for now is the language barrier between us and the patients. most of them doesn't speak/converse in English, thus making history taking or even starting a conversation tough. i can't believe i have to say this, but like it or not, i need to learn some sort of Kannada after all. -.-

SEMPOI

ok here i think it is not appropriate to use English, so i will write this part using Malay. :B sepanjang hujung minggu ini saya berkesempatan untuk menghadiri program SEMPOI di Mangalore bersama sama pelajar-pelajar Malaysia dari tempat tempat lain di India e.g : Bangalore, Mangalore, Davangere etc... dan alhamdulillah sepanjang program tersebut, walaupun saya hadir sedikit lewat berbanding dengan peserta peserta lain tetapi pengisian sepanjang 1 hari tersebut saya rasakan amat bermakna dan penuh dengan manfaat. sesi sesi LDK yang diselitkan antara slot slot ceramah dari Ustaz Hasrizal amat berguna sekali buat kami para peserta. memang terasa rugi kerana tak dapat nak attend program dari hari pertama tapi saya rasa sepanjang program tersebut masa saya telah diluangkan untuk sesuatu yang bermanfaat dan berfaedah, plus saya dapat menambah ilmu dan juga mendengar cerita cerita pengalaman dari Ustaz Hasrizal sendiri.

saya cuma sempat hadir untuk 3 slot ceramah dari Ustaz Hasrizal dan ceramah ustaz berkaitan dengan tajuk '7 steps to become successful in life' *x berapa sure dengan tajuk asal*. slot pertama saya ialah slot ke-5 bersama peserta lain dan tajuk nya is 'seek to understand, to be understood'. tajuk memang agak confusing, tapi sebab approach ustaz dalam berceramah menarik so memang x hilang fokus langsung sepanjang ceramah. apa yang saya dapat dari slot itu ialah cara2 kita nak approach orang dalam membantu menyelesaikan masalah orang tersebut. most of the time kita selalu cuba nak membantu, tapi caranya salah dan akhirnya bukan lagi membantu, malah memburukkan lagi keadaan. apa yang ustaz sampaikan dalam slot tu ialah kita sebagai seseorang yang hendak menawarkan bantuan kepada orang lain, perlulah memahami masalah orang tersebut, barulah kita boleh expect orang itu tadi untuk memahami apa yang kita sampaikan. kalau nak quote dari ayat ustaz, kita mestilah 'imagine ourselves living in the person's shoes' atau meletakkan diri kita sendiri di tempat orang tersebut. bila kita dah faham situasi sebenar barulah kita boleh menawarkan penyelesaian atau bantuan kepada orang itu tadi. kadang 2 kita selalu expect orang untuk memahami kita tanpa memahami orang lain dan sebab ni lah boleh berlaku masalah, atau orang melawan kata2/nasihat yang kita berikan. approach dan cara menasihat itu perlulah betul dan parallel dengan situasi, jenis dan attitude orang tersebut.

bagi slot seterusnya ustaz bercerita tentang pengalaman nya semasa belajar di Jordan, kemudian berkerja di UK & Belfast. panjang sekali cerita dari ustaz dan apa yang saya dapat ceritakan di sini ialah kita x sepatutnya berasa yang kita ini Allah telah uji dengan seberat2 ujian, kerana di luar sana lebih ramai lagi insan2 lain yang telah Allah duga dengan bermacam2 ujian, musibah, masalah etc.bagi saya, apa yang telah diceritakan dari pengalaman ustaz tadi adalah tandanya Allah sayangkan beliau sehinggakan beliau diuji sampai macam tu sekali. orang yang wara', alim, dan dekat dengan Allah memang selalunya akan diuji dan didatangkan macam2 jenis dugaan sebagai tanda bahawa mereka itu ada dalam rancangan Allah. maka sebaik2 nya bila kita sendiri ditimpa masalah/ujian kita patutlah menerimanya dengan tabah, sebaiknya dengan ucapan alhamdulillah kerana itu tandanya Allah masih sayangkan kita lagi, kita masih ada dalam perancangan Nya. dari cerita ustaz juga saya dapat simpulkan yang sabar dalam menghadapi masalah ada jenis2 nya. sesetengah orang 'bersabar' dalam menghadapi masalah dengan merelakan dirnya dizalimi atau kalah dalam situasi2 berkenaan. dari apa yang saya faham, ini bukanlah sabar yang dimaksudkan tapi sebenarnya mengaku kalah atau 'giving up'. seseorang insan itu sepatutnya cuba untuk menghadapi ujian yang dihadapinya, dan juga mencari jalan penyelesaian/keluar dari masalah tersebut. itu adalah cara yang sebetulnya jika hendak bersabar dalam menghadapi situasi2 sukar dalam hidup.

kemudian ada 2 slot kecil ceramah ustaz on 'synergism' & 'sharpen the saw' sebagai penutup program SEMPOI. synergism is basically pasal kerjasama, teamwork etc dalam menyelesaikan masalah/buat kerja etc. and sharpen the saw, actually dah dengar benda ni before program SEMPOI lagi, time buat A-Level to be exact. Mr. Ho told that concept dulu, di mana sekuat mana pun kita berusaha, ada hadnya, dan macam yang kita selalu dengar, bersederhana. tidak salah untuk kita bekerja keras, tapi kita perlulah mengambil masa untuk merehatkan diri sekejap, dengan niat untuk menaikkan mutu kerja & productivity. kisah tentang Huzaifah r.a dan Abu Bakar r.a yang merasakan diri mereka itu munafik kerana mereka merasakan iman mereka bertambah dan meningkat apabila berada dalam majlis ilmu bersama Rasulullah S.A.W tetapi menjadi kurang bila mereka bekerja/bersama family etc. dan Rasulullah S.A.W telah berkata pada mereka yang kita perlu ada masa untuk itu, ada masa untuk ini dan Rasulullah S.A.W mengulangi kata2 itu sebanyak 3 kali, untuk meng'highlight'kan pentingnya bersederhana dalam hidup, kerja, even amalan kerana perlu ada balance dalam hidup kita supaya kita dapat menjadi insan yang successful. :)

di penghujung program ustaz ada menyelitkan 5 cara2 untuk menunjukkan/expressing perasaan kasih sayang kita kepada orang lain e.g : ibu, ayah, adik2 etc. tapi dah rasa penat nak type. :p maka lain kali lah type lagi. hehe. insyaallah 3rd year ada banyak time, so this blog will probably remain alive and updated for a good amount of time. thanks for spending your time if you managed to read this post till the very end, and assalamualaikum, may all of you get what i'm trying to share here and may it benefit you as well as i did. :)